This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
