Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
