"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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