I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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