Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
