I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you never un-have a 4some
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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