Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
