i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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