I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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