We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize