you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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