cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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