I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
