that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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