God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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