he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
