I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
