it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
