Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
