Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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