worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
