The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
