Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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