it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
