I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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