the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
