Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
