If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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