you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize