i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize