Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
