How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
