Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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