Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
