she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
