someone threw a dead crab at me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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