Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
