I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
whose parrot is this?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Will exercising make me less horny?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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