Need sex. Gaining weight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
