im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if only i could text you this smell
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
