i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
