Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
