it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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