Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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