Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh god it's open bar.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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