Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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