but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize