He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize