airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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