You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
