she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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