Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize