I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
