How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
