I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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