I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
