Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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