he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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