That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
