I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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