the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
