we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
