if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
